by Rev. Magdalyn M. Sebastian
Maggie is Tim's wife. This column appeared in the Wheeling Intelligencer on November 6, 2010.
Maggie is Tim's wife. This column appeared in the Wheeling Intelligencer on November 6, 2010.
Trusting the Divine at times seems so surreal, doesn’t it? So beyond what we can do at any one particular moment. I mean when it comes to day-to-day decisions and issues, trusting in the Divine seems illogical. There isn’t enough money for the rent. Is the Creator going to create a bit of extra cash? The eldest has gotten herself mixed up with alcohol and some unsavory friends. Is the Protector going to fix her before she gets herself hurt? Should we take the job out of town away from family that is a good career move or stay here, safe and wondering? Trust in the Lord sometimes seems to be meant for those super faithful people while the rest of us sit around, wring our hands, and worry ourselves all night long. All we know are the problems and dilemmas we see and feel right in front of us.
I cannot explain how the Holy Spirit works, I just know she does. I can honestly admit I have spent MORE than my share of time pacing the floors in worry and angst firmly telling the Spirit, “I have this one. I’ll figure it out. I don’t need to bother you with this. You have more important creaturely things to deal with like wars and famine.” But I do know that if I have my spiritual and cognitive head on straight, the Spirit does guide me. All I have to do is trust. I just don’t always like the destination. The Spirit can be very crafty that way.
Like who knew? Who knew that my 51-year-old spouse would go to California for a class towards completing his seminary education? California? Really? All I got was a field trip to a Trappist monastery in the next town when I was in school. Who knew that at this class on New Church Starts that he would hear the whispers and shouts from the Spirit? “Oh yes you will!” “No, I mean YOU.” “You are going to start a church for Me.” “In Oregon.” “You heard me, Oregon.” “Okay, I’ll give you Portland since that is where Jess and Isaac are.” “Of course the 35 and under crowd will respond to you. Haven’t I given you those gifts already?” Wow, and I thought he was just going to be in sunny southern California for ten days and back home again to whatever we call routine.
Like who knew? Who knew that while I was at a pastors’ conference in San Diego (watch out for southern California!) that I would hear the whispers and shouts of the Holy Spirit? “You can do it.” “I know it will be hard. That’s why I’m telling YOU.” “Everything will be okay.” “Yes they will be upset, but they will grow and so will you.” “I need you, Chaplain, NOW.” “Well of course in the Northwest. Isn’t that what we have been talking about?” “Sooner rather than later. I really meant NOW.” And so in somewhat of a shocked, yet very peaceful state, I handed in my resignation to the church I have served for six years in order to head for the Northwest after December 31.
Okay, so here is where the trust hits the proverbial faith mat. Trusting that we are actually hearing the Spirit and where she is nudging/pushing us to go and not our own desires. Trusting that my leaving months ahead of my spouse’s ordination is the correct plan - to get us established and all. Trusting that by resigning my called position FIRST and beginning to look for a chaplain job SECOND, everything will work out just fine. Trusting that the house will sell, and that the congregation I serve will forgive me. Trusting that the Divine has good things in mind for us if we just listen. That’s just a whole lot of trusting. Honestly - I have been up some nights.
We have often ascribed Biblical characters to phases in our life together. I’m thinking Abram and Sarai right now. The Lord telling Abram to pack up the family and head to a place he did not know. Abram’s trust that the Lord would tell him the directions along the way and what he should be doing in this unknown world.
Our second Bible characterization I think should be Jesus’ commissioning of the seventy. “Carry no purse, no bag, no sandals.” (Luke 10:4) We have been tinkering with divesting ourselves of material possessions for several years. Now we are doing it in a big way. As one of my beloved told me, “possessions are temporal.” Can’t take it with you, so why take it now? Again, trusting that the Lord will provide. Trusting that by giving away most of what we have, that I am not giving away family history or something I “need.”
People think we are nuts or that we are just kidding. But we do feel called by the Spirit to do this. We know it’s a G-d thing because it is not always easy. The blessing is that we grow more peace-filled as we progress. Not that there aren’t moments when I have something of my grandmother’s in my tightly gripped my hand, reluctant to let go.
Not everyone decides to pack up and move across the country, but we all have times in our lives when we need to trust that The One Who Made Us has good things planned for us. We need to trust that whatever pit we find ourselves in, the Holy Spirit is there with us, helping us to climb out. We just need to remember:
Trust in the LORD and do good;
so you will live in the land, and enjoy security.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will act.
Psalm 37:3-5
