Chicken: Free Speech or Justice?

I didn't mean to step into the Chick-fil-A brouhaha but I did. The following is a comment I posted at Rebecca Hamilton's blog, in response to her post, It’s Eat a Chicken Sandwich for Freedom of Speech Day ! « Public Catholic.


***


I've been thinking about this post off and on over the last several days. Perhaps, it's because I keep getting notices that someone else has commented. More likely it's because of my discomfort with my last response. I think it was incomplete.

Image from
New Columbia Heights blog.

This is indeed a free speech issue when mayors and others in elected or bureaucratic positions seek to keep a legitimate business from operating in their city or other jurisdiction. People also need to learn to talk with one another civilly. We do too much screaming and not enough listening.


The owner of any business has the right to express his own religious and political views. Whether he was asked or not is irrelevant; he chose to state them. At this point those with differing perspectives have as much right to express their views as Dan Cathy. He may spend his money how he chooses but as an outspoken business leader he can expect some to choose not to support his business. They may also exercise their constitutional rights to protest in a variety of ways.


This becomes a justice issue when he expresses opinions and spends $5 million on oppression of a minority. Some of that money has been spent on a program to "fix" people who are GLBTQ. That is, he denies that their sexuality is God-given. It is a gift just as my heterosexuality is a gift from God.


Mr. Cathy goes further, though, and seeks to deny the rights of those with whom he diminishes. He tells my child, my friends, and my human kin that because of their sexuality -- which hurts no one -- that they are not worthy of the right of visitation as family when their beloved is hospitalized. He tells them that they must pay higher taxes because they are not legally married and so cannot file jointly. He tells them that their loving relationship is less valuable than someone who is married to someone of another gender. He implies that they are less than the beloved children of God.


I am saddened by the display of Christians lining up to eat chicken in the name of free speech that hurts so many of our human kindred. Though, I fully support their right to do so it is hard for me to comprehend why this issue which gets marginal treatment (even if interpreted as condemnation) in the Bible, rallies so many to eat chicken. The biblical witness is chock-full of the importance of hospitality and welcome of the other. Jesus is persistent in his call for us to reach out to the poor, the marginalized, and the despised of society.


The body of Christ is not about hatred. It is about love. My friends and family who are GLBTQ do not feel loved by the Christians who went out to eat chicken.

Sacred Ground

Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.’ Exodus 3:5b NRSV (Read in context.)

My mother taught me that God is everywhere.  Most Christians would agree with her; the One we call God can meet us anywhere. Indeed the sacred surrounds us, enveloping us. Each human being even reflects the divine (Imago Dei), according to most followers of Jesus.

We often co-create sacred spaces with the divine, the one I call God. In churches and other places we invoke the spirit with candles, prayers, or incense. (I often burn incense and light a candle to remind me of God's presence. They help me to remember that my gifts are from God.) Some indigenous people burn cedar or sage. Most faith traditions of which I am aware have ways to draw our distracted human minds to focus on the One, on the sacred. These rituals are not limited by location.

But there do seem to be places in which God's presence is palpable. As I've been hiking the Columbia River Gorge this year, I have happened upon places that draw me in, call me to prayer and meditation. Some of these places are simply pretty spots where the artistry of the Creator's brush compel me to awe.

"Some of these places are simply pretty spots where the artistry of the Creator's brush compel me to awe." Photo by Tim Graves

Others have been co-created by human beings. Another person has felt compelled, for reasons I am unaware, to modify the location. The zen rocks along the Coyote Wall trail, for example, demand a sabbath along the journey to the peak.

The Coyote Wall Zen rocks are flanked by Mt. Hood. Photo by Tim Graves

Sometimes the sacred ground I encounter is long, narrow, and winds through Mother Earth's majesty. The experience of putting one foot in front of the other -- of the journey -- is itself holy. Being present on that trail as it wanders through the forest, meadow, or along the river, the One walks with me.  The God who loves extravagantly heals me, prods and challenges me, and reminds me that the majestic unfolding realm of God includes each of us.

Photo by Tim Graves

Note: As I begin the long-term project of creating a spiritual guide to various trails within the Columbia River Gorge, I will be highlighting Sacred Ground that I encounter on my hikes.

Idolizing the God of Moderation

 Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.’

So God created humankind in his image,

in the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them.

Genesis 1: 26-27 NRSV (read in context)

Living closer to nature, we live closer God. By slowing down, we see the subtleties of creation. We see the nonstop transformation of the world. There are deaths and resurrections all around us. Dry creek beds, surging waterfalls, ice storms and debilitating heat all come to an end. The Divine energy  pulses and vibrates throughout it all. (This is also reflected in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.)

We experience and observe the resurrecting nature of the One I call God in Creation. It is where we can take our rightful place as one creature among many. We are called to practice a dominion over the earth that reflects the image of God (Imago Dei) within us. That god does not control us. The One who loves us with abandon and feels our every emotion creates and transforms with us. Without pausing, God prods us to reflect God's loving creating nature.

Nature is filled with death and resurrections. Photo by Tim Graves

Responding to this call requires empathy. Empathy with the salmon struggling upstream and with our kindred humans fighting for dignity and justice. Without empathy we fail to reflect the Imago Dei.

Yet, we idolize a god who does not feel or transform. We isolate ourselves from the opportunities to empathize and love.

In our modern world of air conditioning we forget that a little sweat is a good thing. Instead of feeling the warm summer blowing on our face, we insulate ourselves. If we feel moisture on our skin with the thermostat set to 78, we sequester ourselves at 72 degrees. We live in a world insulated from the nature of God and one another.

Moderation and comfort are our idols. But without the highs or the lows, the anguish and the exuberance, we do not experience the One who is always creating, the One who dances in joy and weeps in despair with us, the God of the ancient Hebrews who heard cries and responds in mercy. The God who grows through the crack in the asphalt demanding that beauty win, that love win.

Good Soil Among the Rocks

‘Let anyone with ears to hear listen!’ Mark 4: 9 NRSV

In our too-human rush to judgement, we can miss the central point of the teachings of Jesus. In the parable of the sower, Jesus emphasizes the receptivity of the soil - of our hearts - to hearing the Good News of love for all. He does not suggest the sower should withhold seed. Rather, he describes what we see all around us. Not all seeds or love we share take root. 

Nonetheless, Jesus calls us to plant seeds of love extravagantly. We may fear there is not enough love, withholding seeds from those we deem unworthy or bad risks, but this is not what Jesus teaches. It is not our role to pre-judge others and withhold our love-seeds from the rocks. To do so, is to assume that we know where the Realm of God will take root and blossom. Sometimes the seed planted among the rocks, finds good soil where we least expect.

Photo by Tim Graves

Again he began to teach beside the lake. Such a very large crowd gathered around him that he got into a boat on the lake and sat there, while the whole crowd was beside the lake on the land. He began to teach them many things in parables, and in his teaching he said to them: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched; and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.’ And he said, ‘Let anyone with ears to hear listen!’ Mark 4: 1-9 NRSV (Read in context.)

It's All Made Up Anyway!

Painting by Anthony J. Kelly. Image retrieved 
from Rev. David Eck's blog.

"The Holy Trinity is all made up, anyway!" My friend thought I was joking. I wasn't and I'm not. I'm not an atheist; I believe in God. I'm even trinitarian with a higher sense of the Holy Spirit than many other mainline Christians. Still, it's pretend.


I perceive a divinity that connects us, that flows through us, and encourages us to lovingness. Our stories and theologies -- including trinitarian theology -- reveal truths that are beyond the rational, scientific explanation. They are not, nor were they ever intended to be literal, historical retellings of facts. 


Through the Christian biblical narrative, however, God continues to speak. For me, Jesus is,

"the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you have really known me, you will also know the Father." (John 14:6-7b CEB Read this passage in context.)

This is the path upon which God has lured me. This is the only way for me to be the loving, unique person that God created me to be. It is in the life of Jesus, that I enter into a relationship with the love that underpins all of creation. It is in the human Jesus that I learn how to be who God calls me to be.


Jesus functions as a gate for me (John 10: 1-10 CEB). However, just as it is naive and ineffective to expect all children to learn via only one modality (e.g.; visual, auditory, or kinesthetic), it is naive to think that God's love only opens through one gate. The arrogant teacher is one who thinks there is one -- and only one -- way to reach all children. This assumes the gifts, skills, challenges, and experiences of each individual is the same. 


Arrogant Christian spirituality, is one that projects its own gifts on all. When we do this we deny the truth reflected in Paul's writings to the Corinthians. That truth is that as we seek to follow the One, we each have unique roles and gifts.

Certainly the body isn’t one part but many. If the foot says, “I’m not part of the body because I’m not a hand,” does that mean it’s not part of the body? If the ear says, “I’m not part of the body because I’m not an eye,” does that mean it’s not part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, what would happen to the hearing? And if the whole body were an ear, what would happen to the sense of smell? (1 Corinthians 12: 14-17 CEB Read this passage in context.)

Though Paul wrote to a squabbling community of Jesus followers, to expand this truth beyond Christianity is to hear the voice of God in a new time and place. Paul -- and the other authors of the canon -- wrote contextually. That is, the biblical writers spoke to specific people in a specific era, place, and culture. When we read and study the texts thoughtfully, communally, and prayerfully, we hear God's voice for today. We can find truths.


The gospels interpret the life of Jesus as he challenged the prevailing human-defined circle of acceptable behaviors and the people that were worthy of God's love. The Good News of the unfolding Realm of God (love) is that it is for all of us. God's love is expansive and extravagant! The One is love. The One, who I call God, reflected in the Hebrew Bible and the Christian New Testament reveals an arc of loving inclusiveness and justice for all.


To find God through Jesus, does not require dismissing others. On the contrary, to follow the teachings of Jesus is to engage in loving, respectful relationship with others. Other peoples have stories, metaphors, and narratives that describe their experiences of the One, the divinity that I perceive. Just as the Christian Bible reveals truths, the sacred writings (or verbal stories) of Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, Rastafarians, and others reveal truths. They reflect the ways that others have experienced the One. Is it really that hard to believe that the mysterium tremendum that is God, might speak to others in ways that make sense to them?


Rather than limiting God, I accept the Trinity as a metaphor that helps me to describe how I experience the One. It helps me to follow the Divine's call on my life. I don't need to idolize it into a literal fact anymore than I need Jesus to be the only way to the extravagant, expansive love of God. 

Hospitality & Resurrection (Sermon about Sodom & Gomorrah)

I preached this sermon at Hood River Valley Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) on May 20, 2012. The scripture lesson is Genesis 19: 1-25. 

Our friends didn’t always appreciate our sense of humor. I remember one particular evening at the IHOP when the rest of the group moved to another table because the two of us - supposedly - were giggling too much. Bill had that effect on me. We were best friends. We were in high school. That meant it was his job to get me to snort my soda. 

At the end of the evening, I pulled into his driveway and turned off the car. We always talked one-on-one at the end of an evening with our friends. Our giggles out, the tone would become more serious. As two young men growing up in the late seventies, this is when we talked about girls, about our families, and about all the things that mattered most to us.

***

We all have that relative who we love dearly. You know the one who's a good person but always seems to find trouble? (My brother had some years like that.) You just wish Uncle Joe or cousin Millie would live up to their potential. You just wish they’d stop making bad choices, sabotaging themselves, and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Lot seems to be that relative for our patriarch Abraham. He’s a good guy. He wants to do right by God. He really tries but somehow he always finds trouble.

***

So, before our reading begins today, Abraham is walking with God and God’s two messengers -- the NRSV describes them as angels --though that’s not a perfect translation. Messenger, still not a perfect translation, seems to fit their role in this story better. 

Now, this is after God's bombshell visit to Hebron, a visit in which the righteousness of Abraham and Sarah is evident in their hospitality. This is immediately after that bombshell visit in which God tells Abraham and Sarah that, despite Sarah’s old age, she’s going to have a baby.

So God, perhaps sensitive to the enormity of the news just dropped on the elderly Abraham, debates whether to discuss with him what’s next on the agenda. Ultimately, though, God decides, to tell Abraham. “I must go down” to Sodom, God tells Abraham, “and see whether they have done altogether according to the outcry that has come to me; and if not, I will know.” (Genesis 18: 21 NRSV)

I can imagine Abraham rolling his eyes. I would if I were him. Not out of disrespect to God but because Lot had found trouble...again. Lot has fallen in with a bad crowd. He’s moved to the plains, to Sodom. That place that, according to Ezekiel 16, had “pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty, and did abominable things.” (Ezekiel 16: 49b-50a NRSV)

Abraham intercedes on Lot’s behalf. He barters with God, what if there are 50 good men, will you save the towns? Of course, Abraham probably expects God to offer a higher number. Maybe 100 good men? As some commentators have suggested, however, God surprises even Abraham with his mercy. 

God does not want to punish the righteous with the wicked. 

***

And so we arrive in Sodom in the evening along with God’s messengers. What happens next is familiar in our culture, at least vaguely. Even if you’ve never read Genesis, you’ve probably heard about Sodom and Gomorrah. As told in secular and in many church settings, this is the story of a God who punishes two cities because of their evil ways. 

God gives up on their ability to change or transform. Evil now, evil always. No resurrections. 

In this interpretation God rains fire on Sodom and Gomorrah because of homosexual acts. This ferocious god -- fed up by the disobedience of the townsfolk -- saved Lot and his two daughters only because Abraham interceded on their behalf. As a result of this we even use the term sodomy and Sodomite to refer to a kind of sexual behavior and those who engage in it.

Of course, the problem with allowing the secular culture to interpret the Bible for us is that we miss the nuance. We miss hearing God’s loving voice. We fail to allow the Holy Spirit to envelope us and guide us. Our sacred text must be read and studied prayerfully or we will be led astray. 

Perhaps even turning its meaning on its head.

***

Imagine Lot...

I remember that evening well. The sun was setting when I noticed the two men near the town gate. Why had no one offered to put these strangers up for the night?  

Well, I know what my kin Abraham would do; he would offer hospitality.  Like Abraham, I love our Lord, the maker of all that we see, the one who led our people out of Egypt, the one worthy of our worship. 

And, so, I did what my God requires, I approached the two strangers and offered to put them up for the night. At first they hesitated but I insisted. They were strangers and didn’t know how hostile this town could be to those from the outside. As an immigrant myself, a resident alien with some rights, they still reminded me from time to time when I got too “uppity” that I wasn’t “from around here.” 

So, I brought the strangers home and made them a feast! We were lingering over coffee and my wife’s famous cherry pie when I heard the commotion outside. There were so many of them! Sounded like the whole town. They called to me, “Lot! Lot! LO-OT!”  They were getting louder. 

“Give us those strangers! They don’t belong here. They probably don't even speak English!" I feared they wanted to dehumanize my guests...rape them...treat them as women. I hoped my guests had not heard their hateful words because it was my job as host to protect my guests.

I went to the door. My guests followed and closed the door behind me. I stood on the front stoop and looked at the townsfolk. They were ticked --  no, worse than that -- they were in a frenzy of hatred and hostility. Some of ‘em had been drinking. It really was the whole town at my door. 

So, I put on my most charming voice, my most respectful voice,“I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly,” I said. And, though I'm ashamed to admit it, I offered them my daughters. It was horrible to do so, but I am under an oath sworn to God to protect the vulnerable, the stranger. Hospitality is just that important.

Fortunately for my daughters, the townsfolk were too intent on the foreigners to take me up on the offer. They weren’t trying to satiate their sexual desires; they wanted to inflict their evil on the outsiders!  And now I had just enraged them even more. 


They reminded me that I wasn’t one of them, either -- that I was an alien, an immigrant --and they were prepared to do even worse to me! 

I had failed in my duties of hospitality when the two men had to protect me. They pulled me inside and -- somehow? -- blinded all of the wicked townspeople so that they could not find the door.

***

I don’t know about you but I get angry when our sacred text is used as a weapon. The Bible is a powerful testament of our ancient kindred’s experience of the Divine. When it is used for hatred, stumbling blocks are put before people. 

Recent surveys have shown that those under 30 associate Christianity with hatred. Is it really any wonder... when we let the media and the secular culture define us and interpret Jesus? Jesus: our upside down savior? We let the voice of abundant love that overcomes death be drowned out by those who don't study the Bible prayerfully and thoughtfully.

According to the U.S. Religion Census released on May first, Portland -- our Portland -- is the least religious city in the country. Religious is defined as having an affiliation, even marginally, with a religious body of some kind. Only 32% of Portlanders are connected to a church, mosque, or synagogue. We’re not much better. In Hood River County only 38.4% of people are associated -- even slightly -- with a religious body. 

We're failing to teach the loving core of our faith. We're failing to teach the Bible and make it relevant to the twenty-first century. We've allowed the secular culture to limit God’s extravagant love. In the case of the narrative of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, we’ve allowed others to tell people that it is a story of punishment for homosexuality. 

It is not. 

This is a story that reveals the truth about the importance of hospitality to the stranger, to those who are not like us. As Disciple scholar Rick Lowery puts it, this narrative is a reminder that, “When you declare war on the poor and the vulnerable, you declare war on YHWH,” on God. We should all be appalled that one of the stories of our faith has been used for hatred when it is about the importance of love. When it is about radical hospitality.

Jesus himself referred to the meaning of this story in the tenth chapter of Matthew. As he sent the apostles out to teach, Jesus said, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement than for that town.” (Matthew 10: 14-15 NRSV)

*** 

College came and I went away to school. On my weekends home from college, our friends would still gather. And Bill and I would still end the evening in his driveway.

It was in Bill’s driveway that he told me about the girls he dated, and how it never seemed to last. It was in Bill’s driveway that I first told him about the girl in the college cafeteria. The one with whom I flirted -- religiously -- after every meal. It was in his driveway that I would later ask him to be my best man.

One weekend home from college we pulled into Bill’s driveway. This night, Bill stammered and hesitated. His nervousness -- his fear? -- filled the car. Eventually, he got out what he wanted to say to me. Bill came out to me. My best friend told me he was gay.

It’s not that I didn’t care, it’s just that a best friend’s love is unconditional. It didn’t matter to our friendship. 

It’s not that I didn’t care, it’s just that I grew up in the church. Heck, I was born in the Disciples of Christ’s Vatican City. I was ushered into life in Indianapolis where my dad served Speedway Christian Church.

I threw paper airplanes made from church bulletins off the balcony at First Christian Church in Salem. I went on hay rides on a Missouri farm with the youth group. I went with my grandfather -- who wore his perfect attendance pin -- to the Disciple church in Irvine, Kentucky. I gave my Good Confession at a storefront Disciples church on Palm Sunday because I know a god who loves all of God’s people extravagantly. 

And, so, I accepted my friend for who he was because that is what Jesus taught me.

AMEN.

Unladylike is Half-Right: It’s About Theology, Too (Book Review)

"The issue of women and leadership in the church is not an issue of theology, but an issue of justice." Pam Hogeweide in Unladylike


She's half-right. Sexism is injustice wherever it occurs including the church. But Pam Hogeweide challenges more than just injustice in Unladylike: Resisting the Injustice of Inequality in the Church. Eradicating the injustice she identifies requires rewriting the theology of churches that claim they interpret the Bible literally.


The premise that the Bible is the "literal, inerrant word-of-God" results in a reading of the text that undervalues women in leadership roles. Despite their protestations to the contrary, so-called literalists' approach to reading the canon is not consistently literal. Some passages are read literally - such as those that dismiss the full humanity of women - while others are dismissed or rationalized away. (See also, Let Metaphor Be Metaphor and You Don't Have to Check Your Brain at the Door)


With a background in more fundamentalist churches, Hogeweide takes a contextual and holistic trek to determine what the Bible says about women. Reading the Bible this way, requires a redefinition (or dismissal) of complementarian theology. Complementarian theology states that women and men are equal but have different, complementary roles.


Historically promoted by men, this interpretive lens conveniently gives the powerful roles within the church and marriage to men. This is the theological core that creates injustice for women in Hogeweide's more conservative church.


Hogeweide challenges anti-women practices using an informal, readable style woven within the framework of her personal journey. Her writing is engaging and will undoubtedly resonate with other women (and hopefully men) within theologically conservative churches.  Her failure to directly address the theological core that undergirds the injustice she has experienced means she is unlikely to change the minds of the powerful.


 Unladylike is but the beginning of overcoming an injustice. Perhaps, Hogeweide's role is simply to shine a light of awareness. She offers herself as a kindred spirit for women who are uncomfortable with  practices that dismiss their full humanity. Unladylike begins a conversation that may later lead to reforming the theology that makes an injustice possible.

Do Christians Hate Women?

This post is an open response to A Crone Speaks Out: Why Do Christians Hate Women?


***

It is true that Christianity grew out of a culture of patriarchy. Too many Christians still use the canon as a weapon to put down women but you imply that all Christians hate women. This undercuts your moral authority and is simply not true. Nonetheless, Christians have a history problem. The faith has too often been used to exclude, to spew hatred, and to dismiss our kindred in other and no faith traditions. I cannot, nor will I attempt, to sweep that under the rug. 


Those who use the text to spew hatred of women and others read the text in a way in which it was never intended, that is, literally. 


The Hebrew Bible (commonly called the Old Testament) is a collection of the stories and theological perspectives of ancient peoples. The Adam and Eve story - one of two distinct biblical creation narratives in Genesis - has been used historically to promote patriarchy. It should not be read in isolation of the first story in which women and men are created equally by God.

So God created humankind in his image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:27 NRSV (Click here to read this verse in context.)

***


In the simplest terms, the creation stories in Genesis were written to explain that the Divine had a hand in creation. The second story, which you use to support your claim that women-hatred is a root of the faith, can be interpreted as a rejection of Pagans. (Though that was probably not its primary purpose.) 


Remember that these ancients strived in their stories to distinguish themselves from others. The Hebrew people were regularly oppressed, under occupation by outside groups more often than they self-governed. To survive as a distinct people, it was critical that distinctions between insiders and outsiders were clearly drawn. 


The problem is that the contemporary Christians emphasized in the mainstream media, use certain stories of the text as near-literal guidebooks while disregarding others. They've picked and chosen while claiming to take the whole canon literally. Those of other and no faith traditions as well as those within Christianity with different views, are arrogantly dismissed by these so-called fundamentalists. 


This is not the way I experience the Divine.


The arrogance exuded by "fundamentalists" is not a fundamental of the Christian faith. It is not the way I and many other Christians experience the Divine nor is it the holistic message of the Bible. Drawing upon the Christian scriptures and my experience of God, the Divine is one of extravagant love for all peoples whether they are inside or outside the church.


In your posting, you pick out one characterization of God. You imply that the characterization of God in the Bible is consistent. It is not.


The inconsistent characterizations of God makes sense when you realize that the scriptures were written by different people in different eras. The theologies and stories within the Christian canons, give us a glimpse of those people's experiences and perceptions of God, not necessarily the full or true nature of the Divine. 


However, if the biblical text is looked at prayerfully, historically, culturally, and holistically one finds the stories of ancient forebears who become more inclusive over the centuries. In the New Testament alone, particularly the gospels and epistles, the Good News of extravagant love is first just for the Jewish people and later expands to Gentiles. 


Christians do not hate women. Some so-called fundamentalist Christians draw lines between insiders and outsiders and neglect the one fundamental of following Jesus: a love so extravagant that it overcomes even death. This extravagant, ever widening love is for all peoples. It is in the spaces between us, it is within each of us (the Imago Dei), and it is reflected in creation.


God of Wholeness,


Open our hearts,
   our hands,
      and our arms;


That we might use them,
   to be extravagant lovers of all humanity,
      of all of creation,
         and of You.


Amen. 

Decaying Beavers & Rainbows

I was hiking along the riverfront when it caught my eye. At first I wasn't sure what it was and so I moved closer. I feared it would have that rank smell of death that gets into your nostrils and is so hard to get out, so I was cautious. I knew what it was when I saw its tail.


***


If you have followed any of my blogs or know me personally, you know that I've been on a journey toward "creating something new" since I experienced a Holy Spirit moment. I've let go of preconceptions, of possessions, and of identity to follow a call to Oregon. 


On this twisting river of a path, I have felt certainty and contentment simultaneously with doubts and desire to take action. Nonetheless, I've continued to hike toward the "new thing" trusting the Spirit's luring. Though waves of doubt wash over me, I keep flowing. Though I long for a glimpse of the outcome, I'm rarely privy to the details of that I seek.


In this time in which I question my interpretation of the Holy Spirit moment which brought me here, I continue upon the path with an earnest certainty. Surprisingly to me, I find myself in a town of 430 people. And I grieve the loss of daily living in my adopted big city hometown.


And I experience angst and doubt simultaneously with serenity. In this time, 

• I am steadily--though not spontaneously--growing fond of the 430 people here as well as the eight-thousand in the nearby town.
• I am quickly growing to love the gift of having Creation at my doorstep.
• I still don't know how to describe for others, what it is I do. I perceive the call to co-create "something new, something that doesn't look like church" but cannot describe that which the Spirit has not yet revealed.

So feeling uncertainty, I call out to the One. I whine to God,


GOD! I want to know,
   how to talk to others about my journey.


I want to know,
   and be in control of the path.
I want to pick the plants along the path,
   and engineer the turns and straight-a-ways.


GOD! I want to know the destination,
   precisely, exactly, and in detail.


And, God? If you can't do that little thing?


Would you at least,
   give me a sign that you've got my back,
      that I've not misread the "Holy Spirit moments",
          and that it is indeed you and your beckoning that I'm following?
Please?


In the name of the One who trusted you in the midst of his doubts,
   when he was ridiculed, beat, tortured, and
      killed on a cross by human fears. Amen.


***


At the beginning of this week, in which Christians began a time of penitentially journeying toward resurrections, I saw the bloated body of a beaver washed ashore. I was drawn to look at it closely, to see what had become of a mammal known for changing the flow of rivers. I was drawn to look at the bloated carcass that once full of life, vigorously controlled rushing waters.


I had that kind of morbid curiosity that accident gawkers possess. I moved closer to see. The eyes of this large water-controlling mammal seemed so small and insignificant. There was no strength left in this creature. There was no life left in this mortal creature that sought control of its environment.


Time flowed through the first week of my reflective, penitential journey toward Easter, and I forgot about the beaver.


I did not forget to whine, "I wanna know!" to the Divine. I was able to keep up my complaints to God all week without fail. 


On the last day of the week, I observed five rainbows. I tweeted about this remarkable series of colorful arcs:

I saw 5 rainbows [over] the course of today: two this morning &
three this afternoon. I think I must live in a magical land.
#ColumbiaRiverGorge

In this magical time in which I find myself, Creation answered me with the quintessential Judeo-Christian sign of covenant: a rainbow. Though I accept and understand the science behind rainbows, I believe the Divine works through each of us, through all of Creation, to lure us and communicate with us if we open our hearts. If we listen and respond in love, God's will moves us a little closer to the ultimate.


Though I didn't perceive it at the beginning of the week, my yearning for controlling the rushing waters, to landscape the path, leads only to a bloated carcass on the riverfront. 


Despite my petulant behavior worthy of disdain, the Divine answered my whine-ful pleadings, five times in one-day. I was reminded that the rainbows, are a sign of the covenant that God made with humanity, with all of creation. I was reminded that when God used a "Holy Spirit moment" to lure me to Oregon, that it was covenantal. I've journeyed here accompanied by the divinity that flows within, through, and between all that is. 

When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth. Genesis 9:16 NRSV

Keeping Covenant When the Storms Roll In

I was pissed. If I didn't feel it emotionally, my hoarseness revealed it. The children had scattered to their rooms. Even Isaac who was foolishly brave during "knock-down, drag-outs," had retreated to his bedroom. That's when it happened. I yanked the suitcase out of the closet. 

How had it reached the point that, even a small part of me, would consider breaking covenant? How could I possibly survive without my beloved? 


I looked at the suitcase in my hand and slumped down to the floor; all energy draining from my body. I became uncharacteristically silent. 


It was in that moment that I was finally able to hear the loving pleading of my wife. "You need help." Yes, she was right. Yes, I would call first thing Monday morning.


***


Nearly thirty-three years ago, my wife and I publicly entered into covenant with one another. With the covenant revealed in the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament) between God and the Israelites informing us about how to live in relationship, we were married. We covenanted with one another, and with God. (See "The Core Secret of Our Marriage for more about covenant.) 


The dripping humid day when we committed our lives to one another was only the beginning. Maintaining a relationship takes emotional energy and regular time spent focused on one another. Human beings are constantly evolving and changing. We have ups and downs. There are times when we're not so much fun to be around.


The challenge for two people in a covenantal relationship is to choreograph growth and change. Finding ways to dance through the stormy weather is perhaps the most intricate choreography. The steps are not always obvious.  Uncomfortable emotions tempt us to leave the stage entirely.

This is the second in a series about living in
covenant with another person.

Living in Covenant Series
The Core Secret of Our Marriage
Keeping Covenant When the Storms Roll In

That morning when I pulled the suitcase out of the closet was not our finest hour.   We'd bought an old 1850s house (think Tom Hanks' Money Pit) in upstate New York. Both children were still living at home. I was working multiple jobs. We were both working too much. Our lifestyle was not sustainable. I know I was not fit to live with during those years. 


I was also unable to see that I was making poor choices. 


***

An unwavering commitment to one another--even during times when we've felt distant from one another--is indeed central to our long marriage. Our success is more than that, however. We truly like each other. We allow--no, we embrace--one another's evolving growth and change. We truly want the other to be who they are called by God to be. 


We revel in one another's joys and always have one another's back. Yet, when one of us is not living into who we're called to be as a unique human being, we speak forthrightly. That is, we call one another out.


During those years, my wife could see clearly that I was making poor choices. She knew I was working too hard and that I was physically exhausted. I couldn't see it and would hear none of her pleadings.


Living in a covenantal relationship requires sticking it out when things are not going well. It doesn't mean you don't feel angry with one another. It doesn't mean you don't have good reason to dislike the other person. Likewise, part of a loving covenant - which includes God - is that we must each take care of ourselves. (There are times when leaving the relationship is the most appropriate thing to do. I will write about abusive relationships in a future blog.)


I was not taking care of myself during those times. The result was that I was taking it out on myself and those I loved the most. I am quite certain that my wife was irritated with me. I am quite certain that she was angry and worried about me.


In Judges 10, God is so frustrated with the Israelites poor behavior, with their breaking of covenant, that he laments, “Go and cry to the gods whom you have chosen; let them deliver you in the time of your distress” (Judges 10:14 NRSV).  God was tempted to break covenant with God's people. Who could blame God? The people had left and worshiped other gods until they were under attack by the Ammonites. Then they came running back begging for God's help.


Ultimately, however, God honors covenant. Because God “could no longer bear to see Israel suffer” (Judges 10: 16b NRSV), God responds compassionately. I imagine this was not unlike my wife's experience. She had every rational reason to break relationship. Who could blame her? But in the end, her compassion and her commitment, reigned supreme.  

During that difficult time, my wife offered up the truth about me, sometimes with a little sugar and sometimes with a little vinegar. But still I could not hear her. Still, she hung in there with me. My wife saw the imago dei (image of God) through my armor of hurt, fatigue, and nastiness. Her patience and compassion and her commitment - our covenant - waited for a time when I could hear her pleading.


***


I looked at the suitcase in my hand and slumped down to the floor; all energy draining from my body. I became uncharacteristically silent. 


And I sobbed. Her arms around me, I felt God's presence in our covenant. Then, I could hear God in the voice of my wife. "You need help. You can't keep this up. I love you."


***


God of Covenants,


Thank you for the extravagant love,
   that puts up with us no matter what.


Thank you for the love that forgives,
   even when we've ignored gentle pleadings,
      and angry pleadings.


Help us to include you,
   to accept your presence,
      to hear your voice in our relationships.


Help us to see the imago dei,
   in ourselves,
      and in one another,
          that we might be more loving.


In the name of the love which flows,
   within and throughout creation.


Amen.

The Core Secret of Our Marriage

My wife and I have been married for almost 33 years. I'm often asked, "What's your secret?" Typically my answer is about being realistic, accepting highs & lows, or about a sense of humor. The core secret is about the covenant we made with one another on a sweltering midwest summer day.


About Covenant


The term covenant has a strong association with the Judeo-Christian tradition as a model for relationship. If you read the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament), you are privy to a love story between God and the Israelites. 


Even when the people are unworthy of God's love, and God has every reason to abandon them, God ultimately honors covenant. For example, in Judges 10, after years of idol worship, the Israelites seek God’s help when under threat from the Ammonites. God is rightfully angry with their newfound faith: “Go and cry to the gods whom you have chosen; let them deliver you in the time of your distress” (Judges 10:14 NRSV). 


Despite rightful frustration, God “could no longer bear to see Israel suffer” (Judges 10: 16b NRSV). God responds in compassion and honors covenant. It is this covenantal relationship that serves as a model for our human relationships, including marriage.


The core success of our marriage, then, is that we stood before family, friends, and clergy on that day, publicly entering covenant. We invoked the Divine blessing and covenanted to work at our relationship. Our marriage covenant is with one another and with God.


Divine Presence


Created as physical and spiritual beings, to live into the image of God requires that we open ourselves to the spiritual. Life is an arduous, challenging experience. It is evidence of divinity when any of us are able to connect with other human beings.


A UCC minister and his wife, friends of my parents from their days at seminary, gave us a simple but powerful wedding gift thirty-three years ago. The physical gift was a golden cross with two rings. 

This is the first in a series about living in
covenant with another person.

Living in Covenant Series
The Core Secret of Our Marriage
Keeping Covenant When the Storms Roll In

The physical cross, however, was not the gift. The gift was the comment from Uncle Harold that our love and marriage are a gift from God. The implication being that we must treat our love and marriage with reverence.


My beloved Maggie and I have both sought to remember that our marriage is a sacred covenant. We seek to afford one another the respect that we afford God. For example, I know that Maggie doesn't rake me through the coals with co-workers. Likewise, her most sensitive secrets will never appear in one of my blogs. 


We have both made mistakes. (God knows I have!) But to have slept with another woman or man, would be no more a failure to keep covenant with my beloved than if I betrayed our private conversations. As such, neither of us -regardless of temptations - have strayed or long-avoided the hard work of living as a married couple.


Keeper of Covenants,


Thank you for your love,
   that flows within all of creation.
Thank you for the forgiveness,
   even when it is undeserved.


Flow through my relationships with others:
   with Maggie,
   with those whom I meet at the market,
      at the gas station,
         or who are begging on the street.


When I fail to be who you,
   created me to be,
      forgive me,
         and empower me to confess,
             and make amends.


For it is in following your loving lure,
   that the world reflects you.
It is in your love,
   that I am who you desire me to be.


Amen.


This is the first of several blog posts about what it means to live in covenant with another human being. The next will be about dealing with change and growth in one another.