Chicken: Free Speech or Justice?

I didn't mean to step into the Chick-fil-A brouhaha but I did. The following is a comment I posted at Rebecca Hamilton's blog, in response to her post, It’s Eat a Chicken Sandwich for Freedom of Speech Day ! « Public Catholic.


***


I've been thinking about this post off and on over the last several days. Perhaps, it's because I keep getting notices that someone else has commented. More likely it's because of my discomfort with my last response. I think it was incomplete.

Image from
New Columbia Heights blog.

This is indeed a free speech issue when mayors and others in elected or bureaucratic positions seek to keep a legitimate business from operating in their city or other jurisdiction. People also need to learn to talk with one another civilly. We do too much screaming and not enough listening.


The owner of any business has the right to express his own religious and political views. Whether he was asked or not is irrelevant; he chose to state them. At this point those with differing perspectives have as much right to express their views as Dan Cathy. He may spend his money how he chooses but as an outspoken business leader he can expect some to choose not to support his business. They may also exercise their constitutional rights to protest in a variety of ways.


This becomes a justice issue when he expresses opinions and spends $5 million on oppression of a minority. Some of that money has been spent on a program to "fix" people who are GLBTQ. That is, he denies that their sexuality is God-given. It is a gift just as my heterosexuality is a gift from God.


Mr. Cathy goes further, though, and seeks to deny the rights of those with whom he diminishes. He tells my child, my friends, and my human kin that because of their sexuality -- which hurts no one -- that they are not worthy of the right of visitation as family when their beloved is hospitalized. He tells them that they must pay higher taxes because they are not legally married and so cannot file jointly. He tells them that their loving relationship is less valuable than someone who is married to someone of another gender. He implies that they are less than the beloved children of God.


I am saddened by the display of Christians lining up to eat chicken in the name of free speech that hurts so many of our human kindred. Though, I fully support their right to do so it is hard for me to comprehend why this issue which gets marginal treatment (even if interpreted as condemnation) in the Bible, rallies so many to eat chicken. The biblical witness is chock-full of the importance of hospitality and welcome of the other. Jesus is persistent in his call for us to reach out to the poor, the marginalized, and the despised of society.


The body of Christ is not about hatred. It is about love. My friends and family who are GLBTQ do not feel loved by the Christians who went out to eat chicken.

Letting Go: Yep, We Need to Go that Far

Mindi Welton-Mitchell writes that the church needs to "let go of the building" in Letting Go. She builds her case well but stops short when she states, "I’m not suggesting everyone go out and sell their buildings."

I disagree. We need to go that far.


Until we give up our property, the church will continue to be viewed as -- and in fact be --  hypocritical. When Jesus called his first disciples, "immediately they left their nets and followed him." (Matthew 4:20 NRSV Read in context.) They left the security of their fishing business.


They left security and control behind to follow a scruffy messiah who didn't seem to know how royalty should act. Jesus was the President without secret service protection or Air Force One. He took on tasks considered beneath royalty. Jesus washed the filthy feet of guests, went to the outcast, ate with them, touched the untouchable, and in the process gave hope to the oppressed.


He did not build a synagogue and call people to him. He walked among the people.


The cost of discipleship to Jesus is ceding control to God. Following Jesus requires disruption of our lives of consumerism to seek justice in a world of unjust actions and systems that oppress. Leaving our safety nets behind, we hear the Spirit along a path that branches away from material security.


Followers walk among the people, learning from and with them. Though we sometimes fail, we strive to be God's loving, empathetic presence in a world of indifference. The church, however, is too often about security. The institution of the church itself possesses capitalism's symbols of success: property and financial investments.


Property has become Christians' idol that keeps us from God.  We feed our property-god with new roofs while people sleep under bridges. We slash Educational ministries, missions to those in need, and even Evangelism budgets when our golden calf demands new paint, carpet, or stained glass. With every expenditure we fear opening our doors to those in need will spoil the splendor we've created.


The time has come for the church to leave our nets and business behind and risk it all for the One we claim to follow.

The War on the Poor

My wife and I recently downsized to pay-as-you-go dumbphones. I'd like to say that our movement toward a simple lifestyle is the primary reason. (See Emptying Barns for posts on our journey of letting go of possessions.) But, if I'm honest we've done so to save money. With my continuing non-paid lifestyle, we can use an extra hundred bucks a month.

This photo by Rudy Costanza of the Times-Picayune
 created a stir in New Orleans and the Internet.

I thought of this when I heard that an internet bitch session has begun over a photo of a poor child with an iPad. Can you hear the uproar? "I can't even afford an iPad and I pay for people on welfare to have one!" Embedded in this comment and others like it is a judgmentalism about the poor. The poor are lazy, the poor are manipulative, and live in luxury on the back of hardworking taxpayers, goes the judgement.

Until our contracts were complete with the big corporate phone company, we did not have the choice to downsize to affordable phones. Though our finances dictate that a pay-as-you go basic phone is the wise choice, until earlier this week I carried an iPhone. If you knew my income and saw me with an iPhone you might ask yourself, "Where'd he steal it?" or "I can't even afford an iPhone and I pay for someone on welfare to have one!"

Or you would if you perceived me as a poor person.

We have a disdain for those who are poor in this country. We blame the victims of this complex social issue. When we oversimplify it, we oversimplify the role that personal responsibility plays. Yes, personal responsibility matters but poverty has far more to do with oppressive systems within our culture and economy.

Having spent decades in educational and social service agencies, I have known some people who skirt ethics and legalities. Some of them have been poor. Most have been from middle-class or upper-class socioeconomic groups. This is to say we are all human with our faults regardless of our income.

Judging another by an object they own (or simply possess) is dubious. I have had my eyes opened more than once as I visited the homes of children's families who were poor. I'm not convinced I wouldn't spend a tax refund -- that might be better spent -- on an iPad for my child if I raised her in some of the hope deserts I've visited.

But, for those who profess to follow Jesus, none of these facts are the reason to refrain from our harsh, disdainful judgment of the poor. Never mind that pesky little ol' passage about not judging others (See Matthew 7:1-5), the Gospels (and the Old Testament, too) are chockfull of passages about how we treat the poor. Many argue convincingly that Jesus has a preferential option for the poor.

‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because [God] has anointed me to bring good news to the poor." Luke 4: 18a NRSV (Read in context.)

Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, ‘You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions. Mark 10:21-22 NRSV (Read in context.) 

‘But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and herbs of all kinds, and neglect justice and the love of God; it is these you ought to have practiced, without neglecting the others. Luke 11:42 NRSV (Read in context.)

Just & Loving God,

Soften our hearts,
   open us to your love,
      that we might breathe it in and,
          breathe out its compassion, empathy, and
             burning desire for justice.


May we leave judgment to you,
   and exude your extravagant love for the poor,
      in our actions and words.


Amen.

***

Related Reading

The author of the original Times-Picayune article discusses the reaction in a newspaper column.  An interesting discussion of what the poor deserve as explanation for the reaction can be found here.

Hope in Wholeness

photo by Tim Graves

When I get too focused on protesting or on politics, I become discouraged and cynical. I see evil behind every human frailty; I see conspiracies at every turn. I see a battle of good versus evil. Eventually, I become a miserable person. I feel betrayed, impotent, and angry. Hopelessness descends. Despondent, I give up.


Focusing on the One whose love envelopes me and connects me to each grassy blade, each sea anemone, and each human being, results in optimism. I find hope in wholeness. That wholeness -- that for Christians emanates from the Table set by Jesus and manifest in love that overcomes death -- is powered by the extravagant love of the Divine. When I focus and respond to that loving grace, I am compelled to act for justice, love with abandon, and strive to be my best self. 


Attuned to the divinity that coarses through you, me, and all of creation, I see see goodness despite human frailty. Filled with hope, I strive to do my part for the whole knowing that I am not alone. Goodness is within every annoying bureaucrat, murderer, and abusive parent. When I respond in love, love multiplies and ripples powered by the One. 


At its core this is the Good News, love always wins in the end. It is more powerful than death, conspiracies, or greedy politicians. When we respond from the divine love within us, justice will "roll down like waters, and righteousness an ever-flowing stream." (Amos 5: 24 NRSV Read this passage in context.) 

Heroic Wife Kills Dust Bunny

Chaplain Magdalyn Sebastian recently
protected her husband from a dust bunny similar
to the one in this photograph. 

Mosier, Oregon---Despite differences of opinion with her husband about killing bugs, an Oregon chaplain hunted down a long-legged creature. What she captured and killed turned out to be something very different. The chaplain's husband witnessed his wife capture a dust bunny in a tissue. 


Said the husband, "I was nagging her to leave the poor bug alone as she reached for a tissue. She defended herself by telling me it wasn't an ant, that 'it's one of those multi-leg things that freak us out.' Of course I had the last laugh." 


The wife captured the invading creature only to discover it was a dust bunny. Just lint. She said of the experience, "I wasn't impressed by Tim's sarcastic remark about feeling safer. Maybe he should sweep the bedroom more often!"


***


Not everything is what it first seems to be. Not every perceived threat is real. Like interracial marriage before it, marriage equality for LGBTQ peoples is one of those dust bunnies. It will not harm my marriage of nearly thirty-three years. It will not result in the crumbling of western culture or spur God's fiery vengeance on America.


We are presented with choices every day of our lives. Will we respond to others out of love or will respond out of fear and hatred? I choose love. God will undoubtedly hold me accountable for many failures and sins. I am very human. I am convinced, however, that acting out of love will not be one of those sins.

Identity without Exclusion

I always stumble over the question. You know that simple one, "Where are you from?" Not only have my wife and I lived on both coasts and lots of places in between during our thirty-three year marriage, I moved around a lot as a kid.

The failure to provide a simple answer, I know, confounds people. We use place as a marker of identity. We also use education, skin color, political party, Myers-Briggs score, and religion as ways of labeling and identifying others. We seem to be hard-wired to define ourselves. The problem is that we too often define ourselves in contrast to others. 


At their best, identity markers start a conversation. At their worst, these labels  exclude and demonize those who are different. Labeling puts people into a definition. When we label others (or ourselves) we diminish the divinely gifted uniqueness of an individual. 


Political or religious fundamentalism has a tendency to define itself in contrast to the other. If you subscribe to the tenets of the inside group, you're accepted. If you do not you are evil or, at best, misguided and naive. Fundamentalism preys on exclusion and fear setting impenetrable boundaries around itself.


This approach to identity, can result in grandiose claims that hurt others. For example, Dennis Marcellino said in a recent post that "The Bible does say that if a person votes for a democrat (the promoters and supporters of sin) and were to die without repenting of that, he or she is going to hell." Marcellino is identifying his beliefs against the beliefs of others. 


A positive identity does not rely on putting others down. While I share a professed Christian faith with Mr. Marcellino, I identify my beliefs positively. For example, the primary Christian narrative of inclusive, extravagant love and resurrection helps me to make sense of my experience of the Divine. It gives me hope for the future. 


Regardless of someone else's beliefs, I find meaning in the Gospel of Jesus. This positive identification does not dismiss another person's journey or experience. My faith is not contingent upon your agreement or disagreement. (Though, my faith is challenged within the faith by the checks and balances of the Koinonia.) 



In our efforts to psychologically and emotionally cope with our changing culture and uncertain times, it is critical that we define ourselves positively. When we define ourselves against others, we risk falling into hatred and dehumanization of others. To fall into hatred or dehumanization of others is to fail to live up to the potential with which we were created. 


‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ He said to him, ‘ “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’ Matthew 22: 36-40 NRSV (Read this passage in context.)

Theologies Evolve as We Seek the Divine

A tweet by @MattRWilkins crossed my Twitter stream this morning. Wrote Wilkins, "Many are redefining the theology of the church today & in so doing they are redefining God. Mark it down, God is NOT up for redefinition!" Wilkins' implications in this tweet are problematic in many ways. I will address five in this post. 


1) He implies that theology is somehow "of God." Quite the contrary: theologies are "of people." Theologies are human attempts at understanding the inexplicable. Much of the biblical witness is a collection of theologies by the original authors. They often vary because God is the mysterium tremendum. They conflict because each of the ancient's experiences of the Divine were filtered through personal experiences, culture, time and place in history, and scientific understanding of how the world works. The same can be said of contemporary theologies. 


2) He implies that the church has unanimity of opinion. The historical record contradicts the idea that "the church" has ever been of one mind theologically. The times when the Roman church had multiple popes, the Protestant reformation, and the Catholic counter-reformation are but a few examples of times when theologies were far from singular. The only way to argue that the church has ever had one theology is to exclude vast numbers of followers of Jesus from the church. 


All who profess Jesus and seek to follow his teachings, however imperfectly, are part of the church, of the body of Christ. We all have spiritual gifts to contribute to the whole.


3) He implies that the theologies of the church have never changed. As humanity has sought to understanding the spiritual realm ideas have evolved. This is true within Christianity. In seeking to understand the nature of God, for example, followers of Jesus developed trinitarian theology over centuries.


The trinity is a post-biblical interpretation of the scriptures which expands upon themes within the Bible. I tend to use trinitarian language because it helps me describe my experiences of God. This language is not the literal nature of God. It is a human construct designed to understand the Divine. Other followers of Jesus, part of the church, do not subscribe to trinitarian theologies. 


4) He implies that God is silent in our age. To suggest that our understanding of the nature of God was complete at some point in the past, suggests humans can define God. He intimates that God no longer speaks. To do so is to deny the entire Pentecostal movement, the everyday experiences of billions, and to restrict the Divine. A silent God is a dead God.


5) Most alarming is that he implies that he owns God. In dismissing all but his own theology, and those who agree with him, the tweeter himself defines God. To maintain this arrogance he must dismiss the experiences of those who find the Divine in other ways. He lays a stumbling block before others and acts as the gatekeeper to Jesus' love.


Reading this tweet, I imagined a man standing with his arms crossed stubbornly in front of Jesus. Those willing to define God in the way in which he defines God, are welcomed and hugged by Jesus. Those who do not, are forcibly removed.


I experience God differently. The One I experience, stands before us all with open arms. Encouraging us forward, smiling and exuding joy in our mere presence. Like a toddler attempting a first step, if we fall God picks us up, brushes off our knees, sheds a tear with us, wipes our eyes, and wraps Divine arms around us. If we are able to take those first toddler steps, God's face lights up and divine arms of joy wrap around us. Whether we fall or toddle forward, the God I know, whispers in our ear, You are my Beloved.


For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39 NRSV (Read this passage in context.)

The Rainbow of Humanity

When you say that marriage is only for one man & one woman, that who someone loves is a sin, or to wait for justice, I think you must know a different God than I do. When you say these things I hear that in your eyes, my family, my friends, my most beloved in Creation are somehow not worthy of God's love. Well, I'm here to tell you I worship a God who loves extravagantly. I worship the One who is love. I worship the One who created the rainbow of humanity in all its diversity and promise.

Overcoming Our Expectations

This originally appeared as part of the GLAD Easter Writing Project. GLAD is the Gay, Lesbian, & Affirming Disciples Alliance within the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).

I walked into the two-year-old room to find the new substitute monitoring a Mothers’ Day card-making project. As I took my seat to watch what was going on, Elsie finished up a card, and reached for another.

“Elsie,” said the substitute, “we’re only making cards for our moms today. You can get some of the drawing paper if you still want to draw.” Hmm, I wondered how this would play out. I doubted that Elsie would succumb to the sub’s suggestion.

“I have two moms,” announced Elsie.

“No, you don’t,” replied the teacher. Uh oh, I thought, she’s going to argue with a two-year-old. It’s never a good idea to get in a power struggle with a two-year-old. You will lose.

“Yes, I do!”

“No, Elsie, people only have one mom...” continued the substitute.

“YES,” the articulate two-year-old raised her voice. “I have my mom Sylvie an’ my mom Tonya.”

The substitute teacher looked confused and became silent. Though I didn’t always get involved while observing my teachers, I offered up information she didn’t have. I told her Elsie has two moms. She looked disturbed but immediately gave Elsie another card and muttered, “I didn’t know.”

Much of bigotry, whether it is in classes, pop culture, or our churches is the result of inaccurate expectations. In our humanity, we create images of others. These expectations of those around us serve as the template for what we consider normal. The substitute teacher who argued with the two-year-old had a template in her head for families. A family with two moms was outside that image.

When we talked about this event afterwards, the substitute teacher apologized. “I just didn’t know,” she explained. She expected that all children are raised in homes by a man and a woman, by a single mother, by grandparents, or even by a single father. Her expectations were inaccurate and limited.

We do the same thing in our churches. We expect that with the right mixture of worship experience, children’s ministry, and mission to the community we will attract families from the church of our memories. We wrongly expect not only stone buildings filled to the brim with people, we expect those people to look like a collection of television show families from the middle of the last century.

Our image of the church is filtered through memories that are not wholly accurate. We expect that we can create that which never existed. We strive to create alone what can only be co-created with God. When we prayerfully listen and follow God, we can co-create that which God continues to transform and create. However, we too often cling stubbornly to our deformed expectations of the church and one another. We perversely draw lines within humanity of who is worthy to be included and who is not quite human enough to receive God’s love.

But God doesn’t give up on us. The Holy Spirit, despite our flawed expectations, sometimes lures someone through our doors. Too often, if they don’t look like our expectations, we use the lines we’ve drawn within humanity, to collectively chase them away. This is particularly true if the people don’t meet our expectations of gender or sexual orientation.

Despite the unfolding of God’s Realm of love, in which the Imago Dei (image of God) of GLBTQAI peoples is fully accepted, we see a threat. We hide behind a misinterpretation of the scriptures because others do not fit our image of humanity. We use our Holy Book to chase people away from the church. We put a stumbling block before others to keep them away from Jesus!

Instead of seeing the love that the two-year-old experiences from her two mothers, we cling desperately to our image of where parental love can emanate. Instead of seeing the truth in our scriptures, that of an ever-widening circle of God’s extravagant love, we desperately cling to our expectations. 

The Telephone Call

I talked to Beth on the telephone frequently during those years. The truth is she did most of the talking. Sometimes, I half-listened. I was raising my children. I was working too many hours. While her daily calls were sometimes a distraction, I was blessed to live in the same city as my sister.

Decades later I don't remember much about our conversations. Mostly I remember feelings: contentment to be near my sister, worry about her, joy as we talked about teaching, and frustration that no matter what I said or did she didn't seem to be genuine. Why does she have to put on such a charade? 

Ring. Ring. Ring.

A few days (weeks?) before the telephone rang, I learned why she put on such a charade. I learned the secret she was hiding. I learned why my sister had to hold herself in so tightly, even in our phone calls.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

We were in our typical family morning routines after a busy week. We might've been about to head to the grocery. We might've been encouraging Isaac to pick up his toys off the floor. I really don't remember. 

Sometimes, I cringed at the phone ringing. I spent my days talking with people either in-person or on the telephone. The last thing I wanted was to interrupt my family time on a Saturday morning. Typically, I would let the answering machine pick it up. This time was different.

I felt compelled to answer.

Could this weak, dull voice belong to my sister? The musical voice (some would say sing-songy) I associate with my sister lacked affect. There were no ups, no downs, just monotone. "I think he broke my rib. He's not here right now."

A few days (weeks?) before the telephone rang, my wife and I'd sat with Beth and her best friend. The three of us tried to convince her to leave her husband. She assured us that he hadn't gotten physically violent. We all knew firsthand how verbally abusive he could be, especially when drinking, and feared the worst for her but she wasn't ready.

I'm on my way.

Within moments I was out of the house. 

She looked as bad in person - worse because she was bruised - as she did on the telephone. She fell against my body, clinging to me. She grasped me tightly despite her body bruised by the man who swore at their wedding to respect and love her.

We gathered up clothes. We gathered toys. We gathered as much, as quickly as we could. We threw them into the back of my tiny hatchback. We buckled her son, my 5-year-old nephew, into the back seat and drove to our house.

Our day wasn't over. Her husband came looking for her when he realized she'd left him.

He showed up in our front yard. 

Slurred speech and abusive language echoed through our neighborhood. Loud, foul language was interspersed with his calm, syrupy sweet, "I just want to talk to her" manipu-talk. My sister hid, cowering and crying in my seven-year-old daughter's bedroom. We called the police refusing to open the door upon which he pounded his fist.

In the days to come, I accompanied Beth to courtrooms, to women's violence protection services, and to medical facilities. In the days to come, I learned more about the man who cracked my sister's rib in a drunken rage. I heard horrifying stories of a man so controlling and angry (and too often drunk) that he abused the woman he claimed to love. 

This is personal. This is family. This is about my sister. It is also about my daughter, my wife, my nieces, my aunts, cousins, grandmother, mother, and friends. It is about your family. It is about our human family. Will we limit legal protections, as some in Congress voted to do yesterday, or will we do all within our power to protect everyone? 


Will we turn the other way when the telephone rings? It's ringing now.

***

God of endless mercy,

Forgive us.

We sin against you,

   when we harm one another,

       and use others as objects to be controlled.

We cause you to weep,

   when we fail to be your love on earth.

We allow our own pains,

   our illnesses,

      our addictions,

         our hatred,

            our fears,

               and our desire for power,

                  to trump caring for every one of your beloved. 

Forgive us when we,

   abuse another,

      look the other way,

         and when we fail to provide protections

            to all of humanity particularly the weak and vulnerable.

Remind us that we,

   are called to be stewards of creation,

      caring for each bird,

          each tree,

             and each of our human kindred.

Help us to reflect your image within us,

   by loving extravagantly,

      by loving sacrificially,

         by creating a culture of respect,

            and responsibility between us.

Amen.

Capitalism & Christianity?

"The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other. It is not, as poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity, but a set of priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently, the modern poor are not pitied...but written off as trash. The twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for which a beggar is a reminder of nothing." -John Berger

I'm as guilty as the next American. I have more than I truly need while others, in this country and world, do not have what they need. We are part of a sinful system. This is the systemic sin of radical, globalized capitalism. Do not misunderstand me; this is not the community-focused capitalism of the past. 


In community-focused capitalism a shopkeeper, for example, provides products to the community. The shopkeeper, who lives in the community and is invested in its survival, provides this product because it is needed. Product decisions are made primarily based upon what is good for the community. The shopkeeper earns a fair profit for his or her troubles. This model can co-exist with the values Jesus taught because all in the community play a role in seeking the common good.


In radical, globalized capitalism products are marketed to communities based on profit potential. The corporate shopkeepers, who make decisions, do not live in our communities so they have no idea what is good for it. Profit is the prime motivator. If profit could be raised by moving a factory from one place to another, it is done. Because profit is the goal, the devastation to communities is irrelevant. This model cannot exist with the values Jesus taught because the common good is not the goal.


The culture of radical, globalized capitalism creates a mythology that teaches that wealth equals high morals. It teaches that poverty is the result of poor morals. It teaches that our purpose in life is to accumulate things. Things, using creation and others for our own profit are the focus. 


This is not the gospel of Jesus. The teachings of Jesus lead us to economics that focus on relationship, on the one-ness of humanity, on the wholeness of creation.  


Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved. Acts 2: 43-47 NRSV Read this passage in context.

Guest Post: Pushing the Gospel

The following is a guest post from my wife, the Rev. Magdalyn Sebastian. It was originally published as part of the GLAD (Gay, Lesbian, & Affirming Disciples) Easter Writing Project. GLAD is an advocacy group within the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). 

As a straight woman, I get mistaken for gay a lot.  When I was in the museum field, I was a member of the Alliance for Gays and Lesbians in the American Association of Museums.  One year I went to their breakfast meeting and “my pals” at my table made me stand to give our collective feedback on an issue. That evening I had two women try to ask me out and although very flattered, I thought “why does everyone assume?” 

Years later, a woman in seminary told me she thought I was a lesbian because I had short hair.  Really? Years after that (I’m getting old) a gay woman in the congregation I served invited a friend to church describing me, her pastor, as “you’d think she’s one of ‘the family’ but she’s not.”  I have a personal investment in the church being Open and Affirming.

While in seminary, I served a church in upstate New York that had previously been served for over 24 consecutive years by gay men.  Before seminary, when I was “just a member,” my anger boiled when I saw the humiliation my pastor endured by “pretending” to be straight.  Most of the people in the congregation knew he was gay, but it was a charade that they played to make the congregants feel more comfortable.  “Let’s pretend Woody is just a bachelor.” After his retirement, I pastored the congregation while in school.  Almost four years later and two weeks after they ordained me, I was told to hit the road.  While I think the major reason was my stand on the war, I knew in part it was because I pushed on “the gay issue.”

The church I served in West Virginia welcomed gays and lesbians - up to a point.  They were more comfortable if no one mentioned the word ‘gay’ or acknowledged that we had same-sex couples in the congregation.  However, something about the ethos of the congregation allowed the GBLTQ community to feel relatively safe. Cool. The GBLTQ folks who came into the church were the best evangelists in the congregation, once joking with me, “Hey Mag,  we’re on our second pew!”  

But the push back on “the gay issue” eventually came. It forced the elders to do the Listening to the Spirit study which I thought went well.  Unfortunately, I never could get a group of the most vocal anti-gay congregants to engage in the same study. Blow ups about a lesbian couple teaching Sunday school and a lesbian preaching in my absence eventually helped push me into counseling and anti-depressants.  

In the end, among my other “sins” on a list of complaints handed to me, the “gay issue” was the one that no one would let go of.  “You know they call us the Gay church in town!”  Personally, I was thrilled but, ultimately, I resigned.  I wanted to leave while I still loved them.  Knowing that the following summer we planned to move to the Northwest made it easier as well.  I left without a job in hand, trusting that God’s love would get us through and extravagant Divine love did.

Wisdom.  Speaking out for inclusion and justice is hard, hard work that must be done.  We who have taken sacred vows to preach the Gospel and conduct ourselves in ethical ways must speak with prophetic voices and be braced to be hurt, angry, and sometimes unemployed, because every time we push a little harder, the conversation moves a little further.  

The church I served in West Virginia is not the same congregation as when I was called to it almost eight years ago.  An openly gay man served as deacon without incident during my last year.  Even as frightened as some were when I resigned (“what if the new pastor hates us”), most of the GBLTQ community in the congregation are still active members. Thank you, Lord.  

Challenge.  When we moved to the Northwest, the place where we found the most welcome and the presence of the Holy Spirit was not a Disciple congregation.  It was the Portland Metropolitan Community Church where each Sunday we were met with extravagant love.  Where each Sunday, as we came forward for communion, someone prayed for us individually after we partook.  We were the only straight couple in the room most Sundays and no one cared two shakes about our sexual orientation. 

Now, we have not jumped ship.  I am a member of a lovely Disciple congregation in the Columbia Gorge where we moved to ultimately.  As lovely as they are, I long for Sundays when we can drive the 60 miles to feel unconditionally welcomed and loved by my other church family at MCC.  Where I am greeted with hugs by people that a large part of “the church” would condemn out of hand.  My MCC family doesn’t care if I’m straight.  They just love me.  

Shouldn’t every Disciple church strive for the same - to love everyone no matter if they are gay, straight, transgendered, queer, lesbian, or questioning?  Isn’t that the gospel message?

***

Rev. Magdalyn Sebastian is a Clinical Chaplain at Providence Hood River Memorial Hospital.  She and her husband, Tim Graves, live in Mosier, OR where they watch eagles dance and rainbows appear over the Columbia River. Lots and lots of rainbows. She can be reached at maggie@revmother.org  and has a blog: www.revmother.org

The Evil Within Us

I detest McDonald's food. I suppose you'd expect that of a vegetarian. I do, however, stop to use the fast food restaurant's public restroom while traveling. I've noticed that the McDonald's breakfast hour tends to attract older men, presumably retired, clustered over coffee. 


Recently at a McDonald's in Portland, I overheard a comment about the Trayvon Martin killing. Following a long, somewhat winding description of the most recent news, an older white man concluded, "So we've got one man's opinion." He referred to the recent analysis by two voice experts of the 911 call which includes someone screaming.




During the earliest days of Internet research, helping my education students distinguish between information from a reputable source and information from someone with an opinion was challenging. We live in an era when everyone has the potential to air their opinion. 


Not every opinion or conclusion is equally valid. For example, because of my training and experience in child development and early childhood education, I have some authority when talking about children and human behavior. Likewise, my education and ordination into Christian ministry gives me some authority and knowledge about pastoral care of others, spirituality, and theology. My preference for an Apple computer over a Windows computer, however, is just "one man's opinion".

I wear my hoodie safely because of my pale skin.

None of us know the full details of what led to the shooting and killing of teenager Trayvon Martin. I don't know the heart of George Zimmerman nor Trayvon Martin. I do know about human behavior and relationships. While I am not a racism-expert, my web of unique experiences as well as my education convinces me that we cannot view the shooting and killing of Trayvon Martin without an awareness of race.


Racism is insidious. It is systemic in our nation. As a white man I am privy to privileges that I often don't even notice. I am not intentionally racist but I do benefit from racism. I also have unconscious racist attitudes simply because of the culture in which we live. To pretend otherwise is to increase the likelihood that I will take overtly racist actions. (I wrote about a recent encounter with my own subtle racism here.)


The overarching storyline of the Bible bends toward love. God adapts to our free choices, encouraging us to become more loving. The importance of radical hospitality to the stranger, flows through both Christian testaments. Always God desires us to become the loving human beings we were created to be. We show that love by reaching out to others. When we love, we reflect the Imago Dei (the image of God). 


Racism buried within us, closes us off from the Imago Dei. Racism is the buried hatchet with the handle sticking out in America. It is real. It is here. It is hatred and it is evil. To say so is not to dismiss the progress made, but to pretend that we are post-racial is to risk losing that progress. 


It is likely that the man who shot and killed Trayvon Martin was frightened. It is possible that his unrecognized, racist attitudes and feelings propelled him to kill a boy walking to his father's house with a bag of Skittles. This - THIS - is why it is critical that we're aware of our own subconscious racism. Until we are, we have no hope of overcoming this evil. Until we are, Trayvon Martin will not be the last victim. 

An Auspicious Rainbow

Honest. I managed my time well this morning. Nonetheless, we were late for church...again. I blame my wife.


"Look at the rainbow!" She pointed out the window. I stopped and stared in awe. The vibrant, full rainbow arched from the Oregon side of the Columbia to the Washington side. 

I stood in the presence of the Divine. It wasn't just the artistry of the Creator that I could see with my eyes. I felt the stories of the ancestors permeate my thoughts and flowing through my veins. The Spirit lured me to ascribe special meaning and significance to this natural event. This scientifically explainable event became an auspicious sign of connection between God and me.


And, so, we were late for church on Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday marks the beginning of the Christian Holy Week. It is traditionally the day when followers of Jesus remember his triumphant arrival in Jerusalem, only to be crucified just days later. 


In many ways Palm Sunday is a day of naiveté. The first followers of Jesus thought they knew the whole story. Though, according to the gospel storyline, Jesus told his disciples that things would take a bad turn, they still believed that success had arrived on Palm Sunday. It had not.


Jesus, the One who breathed in the divine and breathed out extravagant love for all, was a threat to the power structures of his time. He would be humiliated, tortured, and killed by the Romans before the week came to a close. 


But love will ALWAYS have the last word. The Spirit used the rainbow to remind me of the ancients' stories of promise. Though challenging times are ahead of us, the rainbow signifies the promise of love's ultimate power to transform. 


As humanity seeks to face the unfathomable challenges of global economic injustice, a world polluted until it is warming, decade-long wars, modern day slavery, starvation, and the denial of the Imago Dei (the image of God) in one another a rainbow arches across the Columbia River on Palm Sunday.


It is as if God is saying, "Keep up the good fight, my children, my transforming, extravagant love for all of humanity will have the last word!"

Knowing Better than God: No Pink Bowling Balls for Boys!

“You’re not gonna use the pink ball. We’re not gonna let you do that. Not on camera." --Rick Santorum to a boy reaching for a bowling ball


I was never a particularly macho kid. Yeah, my brother and I played with cars and trucks. We even played the occasional vacant lot baseball game. Despite that, I never played organized sports. I was the last picked for teams in gym class. I chose the Drama electives instead of more manly subjects. Crying was not outside of my repertoire. Coming of age when I did, it was not easy to be the sensitive boy.  


"When are you going to get a real job?" --Cindy, about my work educaring infants and toddlers 

On the floor with babies mid-80s

Spending my days nurturing and caring for infants and toddlers was not the traditional path for a man in the early 1980s. I knew it might be a lonely path when I became the first man to graduate from the early childhood degree program at Illinois State University. While blessed by a fully supportive fiance and now wife, I had also hoped - perhaps in vain - that my friends would understand. Some did. Cindy did not.


There were jobs I did not receive because of a cultural bias that any man who wanted to work with babies must be a molester. It was not easy blazing a trail. The joys and contentment I have always felt with humanity's youngest is a clear sign that this was the Divinely-led path for me. 


As a bi-vocational minister, I still spend time working with babies and young children part-time. Things have gotten better or, perhaps, I've just gotten better at finding people who see my gifts. Nonetheless there are far too few men who work with young children. Our culture still has stratified roles for women and men. 

On the floor with preschoolers, 2011

I felt anger rise within me. My eyes watered as I read of a presidential candidate discouraging a boy from using a pink bowling ball. I know how it feels to have who you are created to be dismissed by others. I am not alone in these feelings. Certainly women in traditionally men's professions have a more difficult journey than I've had as a white man.


When we force boys or girls into rigidly culturally-constructed roles based upon their sexual organs, we deny their humanity. We deny their Divinely created gifts. In effect, we idolize - treat as a god - our own socially-constructed gender roles.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the discernment of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are activated by one and the same Spirit, who allots to each one individually just as the Spirit chooses. 1 Corinthians 12: 4-11 NRSV (View this passage in context.)

When we discourage girls from studying the sciences or boys from nurturing babies, we teach our children to ignore the Spirit. We tell our children to pretend to be someone they are not. We tell God that we know better. 

Unladylike is Half-Right: It’s About Theology, Too (Book Review)

"The issue of women and leadership in the church is not an issue of theology, but an issue of justice." Pam Hogeweide in Unladylike


She's half-right. Sexism is injustice wherever it occurs including the church. But Pam Hogeweide challenges more than just injustice in Unladylike: Resisting the Injustice of Inequality in the Church. Eradicating the injustice she identifies requires rewriting the theology of churches that claim they interpret the Bible literally.


The premise that the Bible is the "literal, inerrant word-of-God" results in a reading of the text that undervalues women in leadership roles. Despite their protestations to the contrary, so-called literalists' approach to reading the canon is not consistently literal. Some passages are read literally - such as those that dismiss the full humanity of women - while others are dismissed or rationalized away. (See also, Let Metaphor Be Metaphor and You Don't Have to Check Your Brain at the Door)


With a background in more fundamentalist churches, Hogeweide takes a contextual and holistic trek to determine what the Bible says about women. Reading the Bible this way, requires a redefinition (or dismissal) of complementarian theology. Complementarian theology states that women and men are equal but have different, complementary roles.


Historically promoted by men, this interpretive lens conveniently gives the powerful roles within the church and marriage to men. This is the theological core that creates injustice for women in Hogeweide's more conservative church.


Hogeweide challenges anti-women practices using an informal, readable style woven within the framework of her personal journey. Her writing is engaging and will undoubtedly resonate with other women (and hopefully men) within theologically conservative churches.  Her failure to directly address the theological core that undergirds the injustice she has experienced means she is unlikely to change the minds of the powerful.


 Unladylike is but the beginning of overcoming an injustice. Perhaps, Hogeweide's role is simply to shine a light of awareness. She offers herself as a kindred spirit for women who are uncomfortable with  practices that dismiss their full humanity. Unladylike begins a conversation that may later lead to reforming the theology that makes an injustice possible.

Do Christians Hate Women?

This post is an open response to A Crone Speaks Out: Why Do Christians Hate Women?


***

It is true that Christianity grew out of a culture of patriarchy. Too many Christians still use the canon as a weapon to put down women but you imply that all Christians hate women. This undercuts your moral authority and is simply not true. Nonetheless, Christians have a history problem. The faith has too often been used to exclude, to spew hatred, and to dismiss our kindred in other and no faith traditions. I cannot, nor will I attempt, to sweep that under the rug. 


Those who use the text to spew hatred of women and others read the text in a way in which it was never intended, that is, literally. 


The Hebrew Bible (commonly called the Old Testament) is a collection of the stories and theological perspectives of ancient peoples. The Adam and Eve story - one of two distinct biblical creation narratives in Genesis - has been used historically to promote patriarchy. It should not be read in isolation of the first story in which women and men are created equally by God.

So God created humankind in his image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:27 NRSV (Click here to read this verse in context.)

***


In the simplest terms, the creation stories in Genesis were written to explain that the Divine had a hand in creation. The second story, which you use to support your claim that women-hatred is a root of the faith, can be interpreted as a rejection of Pagans. (Though that was probably not its primary purpose.) 


Remember that these ancients strived in their stories to distinguish themselves from others. The Hebrew people were regularly oppressed, under occupation by outside groups more often than they self-governed. To survive as a distinct people, it was critical that distinctions between insiders and outsiders were clearly drawn. 


The problem is that the contemporary Christians emphasized in the mainstream media, use certain stories of the text as near-literal guidebooks while disregarding others. They've picked and chosen while claiming to take the whole canon literally. Those of other and no faith traditions as well as those within Christianity with different views, are arrogantly dismissed by these so-called fundamentalists. 


This is not the way I experience the Divine.


The arrogance exuded by "fundamentalists" is not a fundamental of the Christian faith. It is not the way I and many other Christians experience the Divine nor is it the holistic message of the Bible. Drawing upon the Christian scriptures and my experience of God, the Divine is one of extravagant love for all peoples whether they are inside or outside the church.


In your posting, you pick out one characterization of God. You imply that the characterization of God in the Bible is consistent. It is not.


The inconsistent characterizations of God makes sense when you realize that the scriptures were written by different people in different eras. The theologies and stories within the Christian canons, give us a glimpse of those people's experiences and perceptions of God, not necessarily the full or true nature of the Divine. 


However, if the biblical text is looked at prayerfully, historically, culturally, and holistically one finds the stories of ancient forebears who become more inclusive over the centuries. In the New Testament alone, particularly the gospels and epistles, the Good News of extravagant love is first just for the Jewish people and later expands to Gentiles. 


Christians do not hate women. Some so-called fundamentalist Christians draw lines between insiders and outsiders and neglect the one fundamental of following Jesus: a love so extravagant that it overcomes even death. This extravagant, ever widening love is for all peoples. It is in the spaces between us, it is within each of us (the Imago Dei), and it is reflected in creation.


God of Wholeness,


Open our hearts,
   our hands,
      and our arms;


That we might use them,
   to be extravagant lovers of all humanity,
      of all of creation,
         and of You.


Amen.